iPhone 7: Boom or Bust?

Kate Mullaney

Richard Lopez, Staff Writer

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The moment we have all been waiting for, an iPhone with no headphone jack, has finally arrived! Think about your favorite pair of Beats headphones that cost you an arm and a leg to get and throw them off the balcony! (Disclaimer: do not actually do that.) Who needs those silly headphones anyway when you can just get a free pair of AirPods?

These free AirPods look similar to the previous apple earbuds without any wire connecting them together. Now some may ask themselves, “What happens if I lose those headphones or someone steals them from my ears?” or “Imagine a time when I’m running through a nature trail and one AirPod happens to slip out of my ear and into the bushes.” No worries, because the price for a pair of AirPods is a cheap $159! For these babies, that price is definitely a bargain.

Still, a consumer may remain adamant about using these useless, corded headphones.  Unfortunately Apple has a solution for that through their headphone jack adapter dubbed “The Dongle”, which you happen to get for free along with the AirPods.

Similar to the lightning cable, the adapter is plugged into the same lightning port. What’s that? What if that adapter is lost? Just borrow a friend’s dongle or just buy another one for a measly $9. What a shame, it should have been at least $50. Only then would the adapter be worth the money!

What other changes did Apple add to the new iPhone? Well they have heard the people’s cries. Not only did they increase the battery life, but they also improved the iPhone’s water resistance. How? By removing the headphone jack of course!

Unlike how contemporary technology continues to grow smaller and still improve, Apple decided to expand the physical size of the battery, thus allowing the life of the battery to extend an extra 2 seconds. It seems that as the battery size grew, so did the size of the iPhone 7 itself. Perhaps the head authorities at Apple thought it smart for the iPhone to be bigger than a normal person’s hand.

Imagine a time when you decided to go to the pool with some friends. You guys decided in the spur of the moment it would be fun to see who would make the biggest splash. Irresponsibly, you leave your phone on the side of the pool and alas, someone accidentally kicks it in. When you finish tearing up, you find your phone sustained massive water damage. No longer!

Along with the amplified battery life and enlarged physical size, Apple also enhanced their new phone’s water resistance, allowing people to finally drop their phones in the pool and still have their phones sustain water damage. Of course, not as much water damage.

Now just exactly how much is this new iPhone? Well, just like any of Apple’s totally very affordable products, the cheapest iPhone 7 starts at just $650. However, who wants to pay a measly $650 when you can pay a cheap $970 for a massive iPhone 7 Plus that can not fit in anyone’s hands! What is money anyway? Who needs it? Obviously not Apple consumers!

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