The Real Servite: A Virtual Tour

Eamon Morris, Technical Editor

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As you read this article, I encourage you to close your mind off to exterior distractions, and instead open it to the rich history of the Servite campus. This virtual tour shall focus on several of the more interesting and unknown aspects of the school.

Our first stop is the back of the school, where packs of cats run rampant; however, few know the history of this population. In 1987, a pet store in Anaheim was robbed. The thieves only stole a certain rare bird, but in their hurried heist, they let out six cats, who escaped into the Anaheim backyards. Together, these cats sired many children and grandchildren, creating the thriving cat civilization in existence today.

As the tour progresses, we stroll by the 700 buildings on the far outskirts of campus. Only the strongest of students brave the barren desert of the 700 buildings. However, in the 1970s, this area was actually part of a strip mall originally dominated by one of the first Carl’s Jr. The buildings were donated to Servite, but if you use your imagination, you may still catch a stray whiff of the burger aroma of yore.

Soon, we arrive at the main 100s building. Notice its facade of bricks. When the school was founded, various organizations and individuals donated materials. A thousand of the bricks were donated by business mogul and philanthropist Warren Buffet. Rumor has it that five of these bricks contain an inner core of pure gold and that Mr. Wonka – I mean, Mr. Buffet – intended to find a pure-of-heart successor at Servite to take over his chocolate factory – I mean, business empire.

Now, we walk across the quad, ever-watchful for the Servite golf cart! A little-known piece of golf cart history: While Oprah was driving one of her cars through Anaheim in 2001, it broke down outside our campus. To help, we gave her a ride on the Servite golf cart back to Hollywood. Now all TVs have free access to Oprah’s network!

In the distance, you’ll see that we are approaching the 400 and 500 building. You also may notice that it seems taller than it should be, considering it’s only two floors. When the building was originally built, three floors were added as the result of an error in calculating the number of classrooms needed. For a year the school year continued, but the administration grew so tired of students sneaking up there that they just sealed of the extra floor forever.

Pay no mind to the scattered cameras around campus; they are here to ensure your safety. But who monitors the activity of all these students? The answer is a simple one. Hidden on campus, there is a small room, no larger than a closet. Inside this room lives The Watcher. The Watcher never leaves this room. Instead, he sits within the cramped space and observes an array of computers with the feeds of all the cameras. Day after day The Watcher watches, keeping all of the campus safe from unwanted intruders and dark and mysterious forces. Until, that is, The Watcher sees something – something that was not meant to be seen. Read The Watcher trilogy, a new dystopian young adult series by debut novelist Eamon Morris out this summer, to find out what happens next.

I’m sorry, I lost my train of thought. Where are we? Oh yes, the Servite parking lot. In order to ward off potential thieves, there are always at least three cars in this lot. In fact, rumor has it that one of them has been there since 1996, when Servite Administration purchased a broken-down car for $250 and repurposed it as a sort of scarecrow.

As demonstrated by these interesting tidbits, Servite is no normal school. Our legacy is not that of a high school, but of an academy with a rich history and many secrets.

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