Sale-Mageddon: A Black Friday Recap

Justin Bocanegra, Staff Writer

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Long lines, discount-seeking customers, police officers stationed around the store – all are familiar sights to the seasoned Black Friday shopper. Fortunately, I had the “pleasure” of experiencing these sights myself this year. My first thought: It is frightening to observe how closely related Black Friday shopping is to going into battle  After visiting family and having a great Thanksgiving meal, I suited up. I put on layers upon layers of shirts and sweaters, trying my best to imitate Level 3 Body Armor. I clung to my wallet and phone as if my life depended upon them. After suiting up, I raced to the nearest store with the sign saying “ BLACK FRIDAY DEALS “.

Once I arrived, I waited in a never-ending line of lost and eager souls ready for a deal. As more and more people showed up, we were barricaded in to keep the peace. In this moment I told myself, “This is it. There is no turning back.” This, after all, was it. The day we had all been waiting for. The day the American public finally had a chance to snag items at a marginally lower price than originally marked – the true American Dream.

Although I only waited in line for four hours, it felt like an eternal banishment from the normal world and into a mysterious land full of yelling shoppers, crying children, and moms who appeared willing to take down an NFL linebacker in order to acquire a marked-down item. As I stood in line, advancing ever so slightly every 10 minutes, I finally saw the light. (The fluorescent lights from inside the store, that is.) At this moment, I was suddenly struck with a great fear. A fear of not being able to control the outcome of that night.

Finally, with excitement and anticipation, the crowds of sale-driven customers were released into the store. Boxes flew, people shouted, and thousands of dollars escaped from the wallets of those present. What a great way to spend time with our loved ones!

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