Friars, Beware! Supernatural Happenings at Servite

Joseph Sturtz and Sam Luna

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Have you ever wondered about the mysterious happenings at Servite High School?  Yeah, neither have we. Regardless, we all know that there are some quirks that we can’t explain going on around here, and we’re here to help get to the bottom of them.

Ask any teacher at the school, especially Mr. Sequeira, and they’ll tell you how their new TVs tend to flicker inexplicably. Some blame the laptops, the HDMI cord, and even IT, but they tend to overlook the most frightening possibility of all: Spirits of old projectors, back with vengeance after being replaced.

The same can’t be said about Mr. Van Dyk’s speakers. I’m sure that Mr. Van Dyk and many of his students can attest to constant audio troubles hindering their ability to learn. This time, however, there are no technology spirits to blame; only the souls of great historical figures, restless and bored with infinite IDs. These figures have come back from their graves to punish Mr. Van Dyk for allowing his students to use Wikipedia to learn about them, so they instead interfere with his speakers.

Even if you don’t believe in ghosts, an explanation for Servite’s WiFi woes still escapes logic. Spirits and curses aside, one has to wonder if WiFi is a force that is even able to be harnessed or controlled. We assume that we are the masters of our internet connection, but it may be right to assume that our WiFi has a mind of its own, operating independently. If there is just one soul on this campus that may have discovered this phenomenon already, it’s Mr. Reagan. At this point, Mr. Reagan must wonder if the possibility of functioning internet is just a dream.

As for other strange occurrences on the Servite campus, some of us are very aware of the fact that food is disallowed on the library patio – but have we ever stopped to wonder why? Every faculty member strictly prohibits any consumption of food, and harshly condemns anyone who breaks this rule, but the real reason for this prohibition is that they do not want whatever is lurking behind the door in Mr. Caddy’s room to catch notice of this and escape.

So next time you’re about to blame seemingly unnecessary policies, teachers that you think seem harsh, or even IT, think outside of the natural realm. You never know what possibilities may be lurking beneath the surface.

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