The Spokesman

Emergency Costume Ideas

Eamon Morris, Technical Editor

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Oh no! It’s the night of Halloween and you need a costume. Your power ranger outfit is stained, and your best friend is wearing the banana suit you had your eye on. Don’t freak out though.  With this handy reference guide, you can be sure to pull together a quick costume certain to win the prize.  

  1. A Baked Potato: This one is a simple knock out at parties. All you have to do is wrap yourself from head to toe in tinfoil! For a more realistic look, get a spray tan before hand, so that you look like the well-baked studly spud you were meant to be.
  2. A Garbage Dump: All you have to do for this fun getup is go to your kitchen. Simply cover yourself in a strong adhesive and dump your trash can on your head. This costume is certain to shock all of your friends!!  
  3. A Cereal Killer: While this costume may take a while to put together, it’s definitely worth the wait. First, dress in your pajamas. Then, dump a bucket of milk on your head. Arm yourself with your best spoon. Finally, carry the your victims – the cereal of your choice – around in a large salad bowl.
  4. A Ghost: This is a timeless classic perfect for any spooky occasion. Grab an old white sheet from your bed and throw it over your head. If you have some safety concerns, cut some eyeholes. This costume may be too terrifying for some people, so be careful with who you present yourself to.
  5. A Black Hole: To represent the most powerful force in the universe, dress in all black. For an extra and more realistic twist, grab everyone you see and try to envelop their pitiful costume in your all powerful infinite darkness.  
  6. Siri: This just requires a personality change. Try to talk as robotically as possible, and if anyone asks you a question, reply with a vague or inaccurate statement. You can also give directions to a random location nearby in reply to completely unrelated questions.
  7. Alicia Keys: All you need for this is A LEASH O’ KEYS to put around your neck. Please save me. I’m almost too far gone.
  8. A Teenager: Just don’t dress up. Don’t go out. Don’t smile. The guideline for this costume is really basic. You don’t even have to change. Just be who you are. Stay home and watch TV. It’s safer that way anyway.
  9. A Chick Magnet: Go to your local farm, and throw some cash down to get some baby chickens. Then, glue them on to your normal clothes, and Voila! Chick Magnet created.
  10. A Soap Opera: This one’s a doozy. First, purchase an authentic viking helmet from a renowned museum. If that’s too expensive for you, just buy one online or make one out of paper. Then get some Dove soap to make a nice lather.  Get your soprano ready and you’re in for one clean Halloween!
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Eamon Morris, Managing Editor

Eamon Morris was born in New Jersey, a state he is proud to call “The Armpit of America.” Eamon moved to California when he was seven, and has always...

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Emergency Costume Ideas